Lost at sea...

In a bid to save this blog from extinction, I set a goal for my self, to post update of any kind, at least once a week.

Back to my post. I thought that it was the usual thing: go through the competencies... look at the rating i give myself for each competency, reasoning provided, area for improvement bla bla bla.... then out of nowhere came the soklan cepumas from my bosses: "Do you relly want to stay in this organisation?"

That totally caught me offguard. It wasnt the usual assessment after all. Totally unprepared for this. What the hell does that mean? I seriously thought I was getting fired. After that I was bombarded with torpedos, scuds, bomb so forth. Questions on how do i want to move forward, technical or business.... engnieering or stay in consulting bla bla bla.... my contract is ending very soon....

I went straight to the point and asked them if this is related to my performance or my lack of decision making on how do I want to progress with my job. They replied the latter.... but that didnt make me feel better at all. There is still this sneaky feeling that I am getting fired or sumthing like that.

After all... after 6 months in this IT consulting thing.... I still dunno what the heck that i want to do to myself. I have no idea if i want to go to the business side, or do technical things, or leave this consulting and go back to engineering altogether. And if pepople ask u what u wanna do and u reply u havent decided or dunno... I think it makes u look like a dumbass. Bottom line, I have some serious thinking to do in this couple of weeks, which hopefully will lead to some decisiion making from my side.